With the summer transfer window now closed, silly season is officially over – that magical timeÂof year where any amount of gibberish with the word ‘transfer’ thrown into the middle of it falls into the category of legitimate news according to the British press.Not that Football Fancast aren’t equally as guilty of contributing to the annual transfer nonsense that dictates every summer window, and in truth, we’re all a little sad that all the speculative rumours, based on very little fact, will be far less prolific until we’re a bit closer to January.This intermittent period does give us the opportunity to reflect and reminisce however, and thus, we’ve decided to take a look at FIVE of the summer’s most absurd transfer rumours involving Premier League side Liverpool.So without further ado…
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JOE ALLEN TO MANCHESTER UNITED
No player has directly crossed the Liverpool/Manchester United divide since Phil Chisnall way back in 1964.
So when this rumour hit the tabloids towards the end of August:
…you can imagine the male populations of Merseyside, Manchester and yonder spitting out their morning coffee and erupting into fits of uncontrollable laughter.
The amount of holes one could pick in this audacious transfer rumour is simply mindboggling. Why would Joe Allen want to leave a Liverpool side that claimed second-place in the Premier League last season to a club that finished in seventh?
Likewise, although Brendan Rodgers clearly rates the Wales international, nobody else does, and nothing in Allen’s Premier League career thus far suggests he has the quality to bring any noteworthy improvement to United’s struggling midfield.
And finally, £20million?!?! For a player Liverpool splashed £15million on two seasons ago and has since shown absolutely no signs of improvement? Complete madness.
Needless to say, this rumour was laughed off from the first minute and Allen remains at Anfield.
ANTONIO VALENCIA
Here we meet the same issues as the mooted Joe Allen switch but with the roles in reverse.
Back in July, rumours surfaced that the Reds were plotting a swoop for Manchester United wide man Antonio Valencia:
Admittedly, the rumour has a little more legs than it’s Joe Allen counterpart. With Liverpool welcoming Champions League football back to Anfield this season, the Mersey outfit were expected to add some experience to their roster in the summer.
The Ecuador international fits that requirement, with 215 Premier League appearances under his belt – in addition to 34 Champions League outings – throughout spells with the Red Devils and former club Wigan.
Furthermore, his contract had entered its final 12 months in the summer, suggesting Brendan Rodgers could have snapped him up on the cheap.
Yet the 29 year-old’s performances have been so stale over the last few seasons that he’s now more commonly featuring at right back for United, a position Liverpool already have firmly filled.
Unsurprisingly, the rumour turned out to be hogwash and a few days later Valencia signed a three-year contract extension at Old Trafford.
LUIS SUAREZ ON LOAN TO HAJVALIA
To give credit where it’s due, this rumour appears to be legitimate and you can’t rule anything out when it comes to the crazy, flesh-addicted world of ex-Liverpool cannibal Luis Suarez. But this is simply a case of a transfer that would never, ever actually happen.
After receiving his four-month ban for biting Giorgio Chiellini at the World Cup – remind yourself of the incident if need be:
Kosovan side KF Hajvalia came up with a very interesting solution. The war-troubled nation’s top flight isn’t actually recognised by FIFA, which would allow Suarez to play competitive fixtures -albeit at a quality lower than League 2 – for the next four months, until his suspension had expired.
The Telegraph quotes club director Xhavit Pacolli as saying:
“As we are not part of Fifa yet, I think he can play in Kosovo, so we have an offer that we will send to Liverpool. We offered £25,000 and a salary of £1200 for each month. This is the maximum we can offer.”
Needless to say, Liverpool weren’t even tempted by the offer – it’s total value amassing to just £39,800 – and less than two weeks later they flogged Suarez to Barcelona for a whopping £75million.
YANNICK BOLASIE
There is nothing wrong with Yannick Bolasie. I like Yannick Bolasie, which is saying a lot because I’m a Charlton Athletic fan.
But Yannick Bolasie is in his time and place at Crystal Palace. A mid-table Premier League side matches the 25 year-old’s quality perfectly – you could even call him ‘The Big Lewbowski’ of Selhurst Park, if you’re into cult classic films.
So you can imagine the surprise when the Congo international was linked with a switch to Anfield this summer, courtesy of the Daily Star:
Admittedly, the powerful winger comes with a hint of the ‘Brendan Rodgers pet project’ vibe about him, and with his contract entering its final twelve months this summer, the Reds could have landed Bolasie in a cut price deal.
But come on – Yannick Bolasie? If the Anfield faithful couldn’t stand the sight of Victor Moses, they’re certainly not going to enjoy Bolasie’s laid-back style.
The mooted move never materialised and Neil Warnock’s first port of call as Palace boss was to issue the wideman a new three-year contract.
ROMELU LUKAKU
Liverpool were on the hunt for a new striker this summer and it was no secret that Chelsea would likely say goodbye to Premier League prodigy Romelu Lukaku after splashing out £32million on Diego Costa.
Thus, the prevailing theory emulated that the Reds were planning a £26million swoop for the Blues hot shot back in mid-July.
You can’t question Lukaku’s credentials as a front-man who could improve the quality of the Liverpool roster – the 21 year-old has claimed 31 goals in 69 Premier League appearances and would clearly have been a sound long-term investment for the Reds.
But Chelsea are no fools; they flogged Daniel Sturridge to Liverpool back in 2013 and he’s been punishing them ever since. It would be an incredibly bizarre move to sell such a talented player to a club who finished a place above them last season.
Likewise, Lukaku had spent the previous season dazzling fans, pundits and suitors alike at Everton, where he netted 15 times in 31 outings. The last player to cross the Stanley Park divide was Abel Xavier way back in 2002, so you can imagine the furore Lukaku’s switch of allegiance would cause.
Just in case you’ve forgotten who Abel Xavier is…
Liverpool quickly switched their attentions to Mario Balotelli and Lukaku joined Everton permanently in a £28million deal.
